Thoughts in Waiting

It is currently nearing two in the morning and this Sunday evening certainly turned out differently than I expected. I don't even know if what I'm writing will make sense by the end of this post. I am in the waiting room at University Miss. Medical Center sitting with some friends who's son was in a serious accident this evening. Praise God for a better report than expected amidst a saddening circumstance to be in the hospital, their son sedated. He is doing well with minor injuries and should recovery safely.

While the initial news I received was far more disheartening, it caused me to reflect on life, or maybe even death as I am sort of cross paralleling it with a close friend's grandfather who was sweetly relieved to Heaven this week. It's perplexing how a view of the same thing can be so subjective. I have a poem assignment on content of my choice. I wrote of this.

Struggle against or embrace relief, 

A subjective view

It matters not,

Control is void

No matter the force,

It won’t relent

It assumes its role, 

To ensure a finite

It has arrived,

Adieu 

What a Weekend!

It's been a great wrap up to my first week! Praise God.

After school on Friday I was sitting in my dorm with the door open eating some seaweed and the Korean foreign exchange students living in our dorm walked by and saw it so I offered them some. Their eyes lit up and they made comments like "Aw, this tastes like home. I think I'm gonna cry." and "I miss my Mommy." They were so grateful and have let me know they are eager to come back for more. :)

Friday night was my first official game working for the volleyball team and it was really intense, but lots of fun. Afterwards, friends and I hung around the dorm and visited and had a blast just spending time.  I thoroughly enjoyed sleeping in on Saturday and then leisurely hanging around my room eating a late breakfast and some tea while beginning some homework. That afternoon, I went tailgating for a little while for our first football, but couldn't stay the whole time because Katie (my neighbor) and I went to babysit which was an experience in itself. I look forward to more.

On Sunday, 4 of us from our hall went to Redeemer Church with Mia and I really enjoyed it. For lunch, we went to this great bakery where we ran into other friends from school and ate with them. Now, I'm just chilling out this afternoon and doing more homework including French exercises, a poem for creative writing, and vocal exercises and reading for class.

Below is a link to the song I am focusing on in my vocal fundamentals class. enjoy!

Simple Gifts

Thursday

Today was the second day of school and it had it's moments in the middle, but it ended very well.

First, I had my creative writing class which I think will prove to be very enjoyable. We spent the class time facing each other in a circle which is how all classes will be. We are given a journal of 100 pages to fill over the entire semester with thoughts, etc. and keep it with us at all times. During each class, each person's work will be read aloud and discussed with the whole class. I find that somewhat intimidating factor very exhilarating!

Afterwards, I ate lunch and took a trip to the grocery store with Mia and Katie, our neighbor. Upon our return to campus, I had a session with the school therapist and it was very successful. It made me feel much better about processing everything going on around me.

This afternoon I had my first vocal fundamentals class which was very interesting and I feel I will grow a lot individually and with my class. After dinner, a few of us watched a movie in the dorm lobby while working on various school tasks. It was a very relaxed evening and tomorrow should be fairly laxed as well. Tomorrow night is my first volleyball game on staff. woop woop!

Successfully Alive

I successfully completed my first day of college! And one of the best parts was that I figured a way to switch my Tuesday night class section to a morning one so that it doesn't conflict with volleyball. Praise the Lord!

First, I went to Mosaic (a freshman seminar), then French I- which was awesome because it was pretty easy. Afterwards was Art and History. I also had my first night class which is a Speech and Public Speaking which went really well and I'm actually really looking forward to the assignments for that class.

This evening we had a Dorm meeting where the RA's and RD went over some rules with us and then my RA and the girl's in my hall had our own little meeting. My RA is great and I love the girls on my hall!

I'm exhausted now so I'm gonna call it a night.

It Has Arrived- the Storm, that is

All praise to God, the Father of our Lord Jesus Christ. God is our merciful Father and the source of all comfort.

I have officially had my first meltdown and school hasn't even officially commenced. My schedule this semester is a bit wacky having two night classes, which really doesn't bother me... except one of them conflicts with the Tuesday night volleyball games... I'm pinched with a really tough predicament: drop the hours or drop the job- neither of which are particularly great options. I was so frazzled and overwhelmed and felt like there was no escape. I called my mom but she was in a Bible study so I had to wait to try to discuss things with her.  Also in the meantime, I found out sad news about the loss of a close family friend. I am finally starting to feel the real twinges of homesickness. It was a weird feeling not being able to just know I would see mom this evening and talk to her at that time and also not being able to be with my close friend right now during their time of loss. The tears are rolling as I write this. I know this will pass and I'll feel better later, but right now the moments seem to drag a bit. Writing has really seemed to keep me level with processing everything and I'm grateful for that. In fact, I'm already feeling better.

I'm hoping to have the job/class predicament resolved by tomorrow afternoon. Now, I'm going to get my things prepared for class tomorrow. Afterwards, I think I'm going to curl up with some hot tea in my bed and watch a movie.

Calm before the Storm?

Tomorrow is the first day of classes. I'm so ready and excited! Yesterday was filled with academic orientation type things and trying to iron out some kinks in my schedule. I am now taking two night courses this semester. That should be interesting, but I'm really forward to it.

Last night we had a square dance and it was a great time to visit and enjoy an activity with new friends. I have yet to really be homesick, although I have had times of really missing my little ones. And honestly, I have certainly missed my mom lots and the rest of my family, but it has not been unbearable by any means. I am kind of waiting to see if or when the big hit will happen. I don't know if its better or worse to happen now or later. At any rate, I'm very happy to be stable and content at this time. There's a lot of transitioning going on for me and a lot of others around me and I'm sure this is the calm before the storm, but I'm so grateful for all the places where I can clearly see how God has prepared me for where I am now.

This year, i am working for the volleyball team at school as part of my student-aid and this afternoon is my first volleyball event. We'll see how it goes. As for now, Mia and I are off to the gym!

First of Firsts

Today is the first day of the first school week at Belhaven. We do not start classes until Wednesday, but have a full schedule the next two days. Yesterday I parted with mom and my move-in passe. It was bittersweet, but I was fairly impressed with the separation on my part. Mom was so brave too. She got very emotional for a time, but then got okay enough to step away and get in the car to leave. The remainder of Sunday was spent at Timber Creek playing games and such with other new students. Finally, we returned back to the dorm to clean up and relax.

I already miss my family a lot, but I'm blessed with a feeling of 'home'-ness here in Jackson to compensate an overwhelming thing. Right now, I need to get up and on with the day so I'll wrap it up right here and maybe come back tonight for more. Ciao

New Things... Really New

I am laying in my new bed now after a long day of moving into my first college dorm. This is surreal.

Let me back up a little bit though. First of all, I cannot believe I am a student at Belhaven University. I first came to visit the school on a whim almost a year and a half ago and that was the beginning of a incredible, unexpected journey. After that visit, I was smitten with the school: its mission, its teachers, its academics, its landscape and grounds, its white rockers- all of it. However, realistic circumstances strained my idealistic notion from getting very far. I shortly thereafter kinda let the Belhaven idea go and move on with out it.
Meanwhile, on that first tour, I met Mia Barranco, a girl also touring, and a friendship sparked. We kept in touch after we left Belhaven that day and even discussed how we had both felt set on it initially, then for different reasons backed away and thought it not for us. Months passed and I kind of forgot about Belhaven until one day last fall (during my gap year off), Mom brought it up. It was certainly random and out of the blue and I seemingly brushed it off. Well she persisted with the notion of Belhaven and urged me to consider it and hopefully going to visit with her and Dad (they did not go with me the first visit) before I was to leave for Australia. Well, ironically (or maybe not so ironic), I heard from Mia that she too was re-interested in the thought of choosing Belhaven. And whenever Mia and I would talk about it, we always casually talked about being roommates should we both go.
In December, my parents and I went to visit and the Barranco's warmly welcomed us to stay with them. Our parents enjoyed each other thoroughly and there was such a unique connection with our families. If I was to do this, there was not a doubt in my mind I would do it with Mia. We left Jackson without a decision, but we knew we would need to decide soon. At the beginning of January, the day before I found out about my epilepsy, we made the decision that Belhaven was possible and finalized it. It was definitely a sweet blessing after the could have been travesty of my diagnosis.


Needless to say, today Mia and I are rooming and I couldn't be more thrilled. Our room looks and feels great and we are both pleased.


A rather good-sized posse came with mom and I to Jackson this weekend to help move me in and it made the task of moving in go at its best.



The next few days are filled with Freshman Orientation events (including a Square Dance!) and then classes begin on Wednesday. I am very excited for classes, I do not fully know what to expect for workload, but I feel confident and capable to stay focused and do my best this semester.

I hardly feel I deserve this opportunity, but 'favor ain't fair' and I'm going to be a good steward with it. So here's to a VERY new window!

artwork by Giorgio Russo